Compressors and a Dive Boat

Algerian Compressor
Then there’s the one about the miserly diver who bought a surplus Algerian compressor to save on fill charges. Only thing was, the instructions were written in Sanskrit and he hooks it up backwards and accidentally removes 3000 pounds from his tank.

Unknowingly, he sticks the regulator in his mouth, takes a breath, and is immediately sucked into the tank, never to be heard from again. I understand his widow in Brooklyn has the tank mounted at the corner of the fireplace.

A Dive Boat
A dive boat runs into a terrible storm. The boat gets pounded by rain and wind and huge waves. The divers are quiet but really scared. They are sure the boat is going to sink and they are all going to die.

At the height of the storm, a young woman jumps up and exclaims: “I can’t take this anymore! I can’t just sit here and drown like an animal. If I am going to die, let me die feeling like a woman. Is there anyone here man enough to make me feel like a woman?”

One of the dive masters stands up – a tall, handsome, muscular man, he smiles and starts to walk up to her. As he approaches her, he takes off his shirt. She sees his huge muscles – already, she is glad for her decision.

He stands in front of her, muscles bulging, shirt in hand and says to her: “Here! Iron this!”