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Instructors and Dreams


Three Instructors
Three instructors and their students are on board a dive boat in the middle of the ocean— there’s a NAUI instructor, a PADI instructor, and an SSI instructor. Everything is going fine, until the boat springs a leak, and starts to sink.

The SSI instructor says to his students, “Okay… we’re in the middle of the ocean, so we might as well do our deep dive.”

The NAUI instructor says to his students, “Okay… we might as well do our navigation dive, so let’s get our compasses out and swim towards shore.”

The PADI instructor says to his students, “Okay… for $25 extra you guys get to do a wreck dive!”

The Desert Island
This man is stranded on a desert island, all alone for ten years. One day, he sees a speck in the horizon. He thinks to himself, “It’s not a ship.” The speck gets a little closer and he thinks, “It’s not a boat.” The speck gets even closer and he thinks, “It’s not a raft.” Then, out of the surf comes this gorgeous blonde woman, wearing a wet suit and scuba gear.

She comes up to the man and she says, “How long has it been since you’ve had a cigarette?”

“Ten years!” he says.

She reaches over, unzips this waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of fresh cigarettes. He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag and says, “Man, oh man! Is that good!”

Then she asked, “How long has it been since you had a drink of whiskey?

He replies, “Ten years!”

She reaches over, unzips the waterproof pocket on her right sleeve, pulls out a flask and gives it to him. He takes a long swig and says, “Wow, that’s fantastic!”

Then she starts unzipping the long zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit and she says to him, “And how long has it been since you had some REAL fun?”

And the man cries out, “My God! Don’t tell me you’ve got a set of golf clubs in there, too!”

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